No one dies like Joe Morton

Anyone who's seen Terminator 2 will remember at least two things: John Connor plugging a keyboard into an ATM and Miles Dyson hyperventilating in a soon to be exploded building.

Such a sensitive portrayal of a dying man, and for such a long amount of screen time. Well imagine my surprise, discomfort and elation when I saw Joe Morton lying on a hospital bed, doing the exact same hyperventilation in an episode of House, the TV show about an antisocial maverick doctor. According to IMDB, the two roles were 14 years apart, yet the performance was uncannily similar.

This begs the question: in how many other roles has Joe Morton expressed bodily anguish through hyperventilation? One? Two? 150? It can't be that many.

Which other Hollywood actors have trademark expressions of pain? We've already witnessed Patrick Swayze's amazing range. What about most unusual crier? Most heartfelt whimper? Further evidence that Joaquin Phoenix is taking acting to a whole nutha level - he's expressed mental anguish through vomiting in We Own The Night. [It's a little known fact that he induced vomiting by eating his agent's weight in halva]

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In other news, Artful Science draws attention to a fantastic speech given by David Suzuki about our current predicament. He makes points that are simple, refreshing (because no one else seems to say them) and usually right on the money.

Easter - a time for giving eggs

Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell has blasted Taronga Zoo for wasting thousands of dollars on Easter gifts for its animal inhabitants. "Yes, we should feed them, by all means. But do they really need Louis Vuitton bags? I would have thought not."

This is the latest in a sparkling series of Artful Science exposes.

Acting at its best

I used to joke with my sister about this, and now someone has actually put together a list of the top 20 most stupidest faces Patrick Swayze makes in Ghost. Thanks to the Sports Guy (or more likely his readers) for this one.

Bad news about Barry, he's back on the tap water.

Hard drugs in our tap water? It can't be! Of course, alarmist reporting like that would never be found at Artful Science. For a measured, yet schocking report, read on.

Biscuits and cheese

Old Man: I have discovered the most marvellous mixture of foodstuffs, that one may indulge in on an afternoon. Biscuits and cheese.

Young Man: Yeah, that’s quite common.

OM: Well, I wouldn’t be so sure. I’ve only just discovered this combination, but I’ve walked this earth for 73 long years!

YM: You hate walking.

OM: Rather. But you see, the manner by which I discovered this delightful duo – biscuits and cheese – was most fortuitous. I was watching a program on the television, when an advert appeared. The advertisement portrayed a young couple eating biscuits and cheese in the park, nestled on a woollen blanket.

YM: Get to the point.

OM: Well, it wasn’t five minutes after the television commercial screened that I had to leave to catch my bus. Now where do you suppose I was going?

YM: The shops?

OM: You’ve got it in one! I made a note of the brand depicted in the advertisement and asked the young lady at the checkout counter whether they had any in stock. As I asked her, I showed her the piece of paper on which I had written down the product name. The lady pointed in the direction of one of the aisles and I searched for my desired item. To cut a long story short, I’m now utterly sold on the blend of Tim Tams and grated parmesan cheese – the aforementioned “biscuits and cheese.”

YM: You idiot.

Sorrow without bridles

There comes a time in every woman, man and old person's life when they must watch celebrity boxing. I could write a lot about this clip, but it ultimately speaks for itself. Suffice to say, I lost a little bit of humanity by watching Screech fight Horshack. And I encourage you to do the same. Deeply disturbing. Sorry Mr Belding! Post Scriptum: I forgot to add links to parts two and three.