On Time

Who was the first ever person to be on time?

Who was the first ever person to be late?

And what were those situations? Some caveman, agreed to meet a cavewoman at sundown? He got there at sundown and she got there at sunup?

Or did it happen much later? Much, much later, in fact? Indeed could it have been, that prior to about 200 BC, no one had ever been late or on time? I'll have to check with literature and folk tales of the time, but I wouldn't rule out this daring, breathtaking hypothesis.

And an argument, if not in favour of this, then surely not against it, is that I can't think of a single Aesop's fable about promptness or tardiness. I know, I know, the hare and the tortoise. To which I'd reply: are you sure that's by Aesop? And even if it were, it's not really about punctuality. It's a race, dammit. People have been racing since they were bacteria, at least chasing and chasing ain't far off racing, I should think (as my daughter likes to say).

And what is with being late and on time (preferably not at the same time)?

I'm generally pretty good with being on time, but I'll cut it fine a-sometimes.

There's the cut it fine crew, then those that do complete lateness blowouts. 30 minutes, an hour, even more. Of course by specifying those times it's clear I'm not talking about a contract to build a spaceship of the sea or anything of that scale.

And some are late, until they phone their meeter, then they're on time again, but will often then become late again for a second time!

And it's far less of a thing to be early. Far less spoken about, really. Underrated, even?

So it's something about people's attitude to their own time, and other people's time. Is it a possession? Something to keep, guard, use? A currency, something to spend or save? Is it a dimension, something to move around in? I think that each and every one of us has our own peculiar perception of time and the role we have to play in maintaining some kind of mastery over it. Or not.

And so I propose to found the Journal of Lateness, accompanied by the Blog of Lateness, and the hip reality show My Lateness Rules. We must document, catalogue and study this phenomenon until the cows come home, on time or not.

ps there may be a spinoff Journal of Cancellation