Thursday, August 20, 2009

Weeping Tooley

July 31, 2009 - Bruce, ACT

The Canberra faithful are calling it a miracle. So they're bringing their cameras, their rosaries, their children and grandchildren to an otherwise quiet sporting field on the outskirts of town. "To me, personally, it is a miracle. You believe it or don't believe it, that's okay. But I strongly believe it", says Belconnen resident Linda Jones.

At the Canberra Stadium, an outdoor statue of the Tooley Daley appears to be shedding some kind of beige substance from the midregion. Tears - of a sort - that stream down his shorts onto his legs, testing the faith of all who come."I think that at this time in history, in terms of what's happening in the Australia, what's happening in the NRL, that this is possibly a sign", says Kingston Resident Malcom Yang.

But fearing they were put there by pranksters, a cleaner here wiped the statue clean, only to have those drops return over the weekend. Many are so convinced it's real, they weep.

"It took us a while to realize it was the statue that was... leaking," says Stadium cleaner Imad Diouf. "My manager and I both collapsed when the truth sank in." The statue's emissions have since been so constant it has forced the cleaning staff to place cotton balls between the legs to collect the moisture.

The Stadium has now contacted the NRL in hopes an investigation will be launched.

2 comments:

SeaEagleRock8 said...

Yes, very disturbing news indeed from the nation's capital. Could this mean Armageddon is nigh? Or maybe the Apocalypse is at hand? Or maybe Agamemnon will drop by? At this stage I suppose it is hard to predict exactly what will happen.

Meanwhile in Kansas, an animal rights group wants to erect a four and a half foot statue of a weeping, chained elephant in a city park or plaza while the Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Circus is in town from September 16-20.

PETA says the circus mistreats its elephants, an allegation the circus denies. So far most of the elephants themselves have refused to comment, except for one who appeared to be simply blowing his own trumpet.

We asked Tooley for his comment but he is still at the laundromat.

Anonymous said...

"We both collapsed." hahahahhaa! - cw