Research shows link between intelligence and exercise

Researchers at the Poky Brown School of Hurtingness in Little Altamont, Queensland, have discovered a link between intelligence and exercise.

The findings mean that people wanting to increase their intelligence should exercise more. Conversely, the people who want to increase their exercise should be more intelligent.

Lead researcher Father Shane McElribster said "these results are pretty good, aren't they? Would you like to join us for dinner?" His assistant Dr Lisa Leslie, formerly of the WNBA franchise the Washington Mystics, explained further.

"We took a plastic donut, a pecan nut, a dead rat and former World Bank chief James Wolfensohn, and we ran them through a battery of physical and intelligence tests. The pecan nut came out on top in all of them, although only after the judges dismissed a late complaint by Wolfensohn."

Fellow exercise researcher Yukio Schneiderbrett of Harvard Law School admitted the research looks promising. "It's a really nice result, probably most of all due to the simple and elegant experimental design."

For the rest of us, we can rest easy that there is no link between exercise and intelligence.

Yours truly,
Editor Sarah Walton