Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Ode to Clem

I saw a bird Oh pointy pointy
Sitting on a sign
The sign said “Clem’s” Oh pointy pointy
Chicken sans red wine

I took three steps and saw before me
Poultry products pure and true
Vegies, salads, chicken fried
And some was BBQ

So began a love affair
Between Clem’s food and me
Unfaithful though I’ve been – it’s true
For I’ve known KFC

But KFC to me is worse
than the worst of sloppy seconds
You’re my number one guy, Clem
Forget what Sanders reckons

Clem’s has heart, an old school feel,
Attractive staff who keep it real
Portions that are well proportioned
Perfect? Yes, but heed this caution

A Clementine visit can only proceed
With these conditions attached to the feed:
You mustn’t have been in 180 days
The moon must be in its 13th phase
Your cravings so bad you can hardly breathe
Your wallet ready for you to unsheathe
Accompany none who deride greasy fare
Or accompany none if you don’t want to share
Last but not least an optional feat
I also recommend taking a seat
Watching the phone booth and 7-11,
The King St shufflers and backfiring mufflers
While you sit in Clementine heaven

Follow these rules ‘fore your next Lunch Pack
And these words you’ll speak “Clem, I love you. I’ll be back”

8 comments:

Yuri Schimke said...

Straight to the heart, Hammer, Straight to the heart.

Anonymous said...

Damn I missed first dibs on first comment! Yuri, how could you be so attentive?

Today at lunchtime I rounded up some colleagues and went to KFC for an hour. It was delicious, and people were giggling in that 'I can't believe I'm eating here' way. There was the usual conversation about "how long I haven't eaten KFC". I reckon they all lied.

So imagine my surprise finding this delightful poem on the same day. We are connected man - connected at the gizzards - chicken gizzard.

Where the hell did you find that Chicken Wizard thing anyway? - cw

Anonymous said...

you are one talented chicken lover...

Anonymous said...

Mojave phonebooth is a real movie?! I thought you made it up! We definitely gots to see it. - cw

Anonymous said...

I tried to use the "flag for objectionable content" function but alas it defied me. I shall resort to common posting.

I find your reference to "chicken" confrontational. ALthough I can appreciate the wit and humour of your type I must ask you to show sentivity to people who can not so easily dismiss the word "chicken" as part of our common language.

I present a number of alternatives for your consideration when concoting literary works about "chicken" in the future.

Fowl, pecker, clucker, common poultry, flappin' food, double breaster, charcoal blank.

In future, please respect the right of others to browse without offense.

Natsuko Yonamine said...

Ah, a trip down Clemory lane, thank you!
But please, don't dis The Colonel.
There is space in this world for all sorts of chickens.
If I didn't have access to the best karaage in the world, I would be weeping now.

Anonymous said...

That is so romantic. and I'm not even a roosters fan

melissa said...

put it to music and seranade your wife.........what poetry....reading your art was a defining moment in my morning