a sports guy

In which we realise the folly of predicting the future, and pass judgement on all 16 NRL teams.

A frequent way of gauging how a team is doing is to check out how their opponents have fared. Lost to team x? Well that's ok if team x has been on fire lately. Beaten team y? So what, so have everyone. Only problem is this doesn't seem to have been very informative thus far. Or to be more explicit, my tips have been unfailingly failing of late.

Eels - turned the corner or just lucky to run into a Cowboys team that did the opposite of turning the corner (Took a step backwards? Nah, too cliched. Let's say the Cowboys turned around, headed back to the corner they'd just turned, saw the Eels lying face down in their own vomit, picked them up, nursed them back to consciousness and then drank the dregs of whatever it was the Eels had been drinking)
Cowboys - doing shocking, but you can never write off a team with JT, Matty Bowen and Aaron Paine. Hang on, sure you can. Good things to miss the semis. Which reminds me - have you noticed how somehow Cooper Cronk has snuck into Melbourne's elite four? Everyone keeps saying you can't write off a team with Greg Inglis, Cameron Smith, Billy Slater and... Cooper Cronk. What the? From now on I'm calling Cronk Ringo.
Sea Eagles - assuming Brett Stewart returns in 10 weeks, Sea Eagles are hoping 20 points is enough to sneak in to the top 8. Because they can't lose with him and can't win without him. And I still think he can win top try scorer of the year.
Storm - remind me of the Bulldogs of 2007. Gutted by a bad loss to end their season, they never really got rolling. They kept promising to... but never did. Still, any team that's got....
Titans - remind me of the Titans of 2007 and 2008. They need to tank a few games now so they can turn the corner in the second half of the season.
Rabbitohs - I hate to say it, but I don't think they can win with Jason Taylor as coach. Sure, they've got a stack of other problems, but the comp's pretty close this season and a good coach makes a big difference. He's helped make them competitive again, but like Ivan Cleary with the Warriors, doesn't appear to be capable of getting them over the hump from threateners to genuine contenders.
Sharks - I've tipped them more times this year than they've completed sets. Surely they've gotta pull together for Sticky and pull out a win against (...checking their next game...) the Panthers. At Penrith. I am definitely tipping the Sharks to win that one.
Roosters - Brad Fittler, wonder coach. I just wanted to see what those words would look like together. The Dogs have got some good players coming through this season, so the Roosters are looking specials in 2010.
Knights - ever noticed how the media is suddenly taking them seriously, and pretending that they've taken them seriously since the preseason? And that Brian Smith is a good coach again? For Smithy's sake, I really hope they don't tank in a grand final qualifier.
Broncos - I had them down as the only consistently good team this year til they stunk up the joint at Novacastria. Only team I would bet my wife's savings on to make the top 8.
Raiders - they are good things to put together a run at some time this year and have Matty Johns tell us how they are going to dominate seasons 2011-2014, once their young blokes get some experience. Someone remind him no one good has stayed in Canberra into their prime since Clyde, Sticky and Tooley (look up Roy and HG's State of Origin commentary).
Panthers - equal 7th, in the 8 on for and against. A couple of losses away from Elliot getting fired. Wait, they re-signed him? For two years? I love my footy!
Dragons - Dragons fans are shitting themselves because everyone expects them to play consistently now they have Wayne "Zen Master" Bennett as coach. I don't think the rest of the comp minds StGeorge being favourites now either. That's ok, because even if they don't win this year, Wayne's building something very beautiful.
Warriors - everyone's tip to go on with things this year after their spirited finish last year. Just blew games against the Dragons and Storm because they have too many Kiwis in the side. Is there a player with a higher games odometer than Steve Price? It's more than just first grade games too, this guy hits it up and tackles and charges down and still plays rep footy, what, five years after leaving the Dogs? Unbeeeeeelievable.
Bulldogs - preseason good things to miss the eight this year, once again no one in the media admits surprise at their form. To be fair, they haven't set the world on fire, but they're topping the table despite losing two points in the Penrifgate. Was anyone else suckered by the write up a few weeks back in which Jamal Idris was touted as a potential 100m sprinter? Maybe after lap band stomach surgery. Patten made a bust, passed to Idris only for Idris to pass back to him. Would Usain Bolt do that? I don't think so.
Tigers - Is Tim Sheens a master coach? I'll have to do some research and get back to you on that. In the mean time, I'm scared by the parallels between Taniela Tuiaki and Matt Utai. And Tank goes much better with Tuiaki's name too. Let's hope he catches a few bombs before he becomes a head case.

Eight rounds in, and I don't think we've learned too much. No one is quite looking premiership material yet, but a few have ruled themselves out. In fact I can state quite confidently (i prefer to make confident bad predictions rather than unconfident bad predictions) that the table has settled into two rough groupings. The upper half (ending at the Warriors) and the lower half (Cowboys down). Don't expect much movement between those two groups.

In a side note, foxsports is reporting that Tim Sheens (or the all mighty and all powerful selectors) has showed loyalty to the Kangaroos side that lost last year's world cup final, by picking them for the anz test. Am i missing something, or is loyalty normally shown to victorious sides? I can just see Sheens informing players who missed out. Yeah, sorry mate, but Lockyer played too poorly in that test last year to be dropped on poor form this year alone. Good, I knew you'd understand. Now can we just quickly go through your lines for the media tomorrow? "Mate, I just gotta keep playing my game and not worry about the selectors." Perfect. Alright, catcha later...i love you too.. catcha". Click.

I love my footy!