Academic battles: resuscitating the bully within

There's something mildly compelling about reading academics duke it out. Each rebuttal more conclusive and devastating than the next. In the event that I ever become engaged in a bookish battle, I've had a practice run below.

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Response to Juang

There is much to commend in Hugh Juang's review of my Day Trading: A Microbiological Perspective. For starters, I can find no typos.

What's more, he conveys his central thesis with brilliant effectiveness. As it turns out, this thesis is that he is a real jerk with no clue about anything.

Juang - if that is his real name - claims that assessing the microbiology of high powered finance workers is of dubious merit. I would simply note that Juang's pulse might also be considered of dubious merit.

It is when Juang moves into more concrete comments that the soft, pink and hairless underbelly of his arguments is exposed. His claim that microfauna are of little consequence to stock price movements would be laughable, were it not so offensive. I simply point to the great cholera outbreak of 1887 and the ensuing dip in stocks of greater than 2.9%.

Juang must stand on surer ground when it comes to issuing proclamations from his professed area of expertise, Fijian marital aids during the Dot Com boom, right? Sadly, this isn't the case. As any professor in venereal disease could have told Juang - had he bothered to check - the 2002 shortage in strap-ons at Frank's Sex Shop near the Singapore Stock Exchange most certainly did have disastrous effects on several large firms - and *beneficial* effects on others. One is left to wonder whether Juang's credentials were acquired after poring through his spam email folder.

I had looked forward to reading a critique of this work that addressed matters of substance in a constructive way. Instead, I at least have a lead for my daughter's daycare centre, who have advertised a vacancy in their 2 year olds and under room.

This comprehensive rebuttal should not be confused for an attack on Juang -  I wish him well in whatever pursuits he has the capacity to attempt.