I hate Parramatta Road from Ashfield to the start of the M4

Pique Doughnut
I wish I'd come up with Peak Donut theory, but it dates back to 1982. Argentinian Economist Reinaldo Hermes pointed out that if you graph world donut production against time, production rises until it reaches a peak, after which it must inexorably slide towards zero [though it will probably never fully bottom out, for reasons I won't go into here]. We can't tell now because we are still on the rising part of the graph, but if the world is finite - and it is - then a day will come when the amount of donuts produced begins a slow but inevitable decline. Couple this with the fact that demand for donuts shows no signs of decreasing, thanks partly to strong growth in China and India, and we are faced with a sobering thought: the social, physical and economic infrastructure built around the notion of a cheap and reliable supply of donuts is not long for this world. As demand exceeds supply, the foundations of this seemingly impressive set of arrangements will shudder and eventually fall. First will come price fluctuations, then shortages, then a probable rapid descent into chaos as groups compete for scarce donuts. A host of other implications follow from these self-evident propositions, and others have now adapted the thoery to cover the idea of peak oil, peak gas and even peak money.

In cold blood by Truman Capote
I was just watching David Attenborough explain how iguanas lie on rocks to warm up after obtaining food in the cold blue sea. The camera switched to infrared, showing several orangey red iguanas that had heated up, and a dark blue one that had just climbed out of the swim. "This iguana has been chilled to the bone." I half expected him to add "It is at precisely this time that iguanas are at their most vulnerable", followed by the old knight picking one up, flipping it over and prodding its belly. "Normally a ferocious creature capable of crushing bones with its powerful jaw, this sea-chilled iguana is powerless to stop me from having my way with it." And then he tosses it back onto the rock, leaving it to struggle for thirty seconds trying to turn itself back onto its stomach.

Spandeckx
The Australian Olympic team has unveiled a high-tech uniform for the Beijing Olympics, designed keep athletes cool and give them an edge over their competitors in battle. Beloved hurdler Jana Rawlinson said modelling the uniforms was a reminder that the Olympics are only a few months away. Australian Olympics supremo John Coates said that only a few expenses had been spared in designing the outfits, but admitted to being concerned that prior to today Rawlinson appeared to have completely forgotten about such a major event in the sporting calendar. 100m sprinter Jessica Horvat added "Look, if the uniforms give me that extra 0.01 seconds, it'll be worth it. If they give me an extra three seconds, all the better."

Guv-Gen
Quentin Bryce has been appointed as Australia's first female Governor-General, despite having a man's name. It is widely agreed that Ms Bryce was the best person for the role, although some pointed out that this is a bald-faced assertion supported by nothing but a crude vox pop of B list celebrities such as Natasha Stott Despoja and morning television hosts. Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said it was time a woman held the job. "It's taken us 107 years, which incidentally is the age of Ms Bryce."