Monday, April 07, 2008

I like to keep my finger on the pulse

No, that's not a line from an adult movie, that's a description of my fondness for news. Which is to say, my fondness for hearing about certain events that are classified by media outlets as news.

Special Broadcasting Service News from 7 April two sows and an eight:

Protests overshadow torch relay
There's still four months until the Olympics start, but at this rate the total number of protesters following the olympic torch is going to outnumber the Chinese population.

Brazen school attack 'retribution'
Police say five armed youths (not to be confused with five-armed youths) may have been seeking revenge. It's time to call a spade a spade. Revenge is clearly an incredible motivator of human behaviour, yet government officials continue to refuse to insert it gently but firmly into the middle of their plans. If I am elected President, I will make revenge a central platform.

Republic on Agenda
A BBC interviewer asked Kevin Rudd about Australia becoming a republic. Some douche decides this means the republic is back on the agenda. Don't get me wrong, I'm a dyed in the dye republican, but just because a politician utters a word, does not make that word 'back on the agenda'. Rudd was also asked how he was enjoying his trip. Looks like 'gruelling visits to strings of heads of state' are back on the agenda.

SBS secures 13 Logie nominations
A lesser known fact is that they are all for the Jim Lehrer News Hour in the category of "Best Imported U.S. Current Affairs Program That Is Light On Sensationalism And Heavy On Serious Examination Of Events But Is Unfortunately Screened At A Time Which Means It Has A Viewership of 380". Have you seen Ray Suarez' beard? It's lovely.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have you ever watched The News Hour and wondered why everything is lit in a ghostly pallor of grey? And then Jim's leathery visage shimmers onto the screen, breathing reptile fumes with every honest word. Some say it's the NTSC colour system used in the US. Some say TNH is cursed. Alls I know is, they need to turn some lights on in that studio. Maybe even, flashing lights. - cw

p.s. Think about TNH theme music. It's neither thrilling nor dull...just nothing.

Anonymous said...

when i think news hour, i think blue. i agree about the leathery visage, but that comforts me in times of need. He almost looks pained, like he knows something terrible but is protecting us from it - gently cradling the viewers in his rough, scaly arms.