Some of you might have seen a viral marketing video floating through the air, in which some hipster doofuses create popcorn out of corn kernels merely by merely placing their ringing phones in the kernels's' vicinity. I decided to have a lark and so I stole three mobile phones from passers by on the street. After I had recollected my breath, I layed me down on the yielding ground and placed a phone beside either ear, one above my head, and the other on my face. I then demanded my number one, two, three and four guys, Phil A. Shio, C. Bass, Col Medina and Rick Tal-Payne, to ring the four phones stimultaneously.
Can you guess what happened next?
That's right, my pineal gland exploded. This had some startling consequences. First of all, it turned me into an unpredictable, suave and tic-laden hermit with an inability to tell more than three true words in a row. Second of all, it really, really hurt. Fortunately, modern medical technology has a solution for me - liposuction.
I wrote a poem describing my new life, entitled Reaching Within
Pineal gland
disintegrate
to dust and sand
Help me mate
Internal pain
cellphone weird
Cellulite gain
my curly beard
My new life
full of hope
no more strife
no shit rope
Reaching within...
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3 comments:
Rick Tal Payne? Oh my God. What's that wife of yours doing to you? Injecting your thyroid with amalgamate?
Your poem is disturbing. No really, I was surfing the web, and was suddenly disturbed by it, thereby causing me to stop what I was doing and later, resume it, but with less intensity than before.
I've been to said succulent garden, five years ago. I was also taken aback by the strangeness of the plants. Fortunately, the strangeness of the plants did nothing further with me while I was in the back.
It is my dream to one day be both askance and astride something, no questions asked. It is also my dream to fasion a necklace of lamb turds using nothing but colourful beads, opals, and other traditional necklace materials. - cw
p.s. You put up a picture of Morphy, with Morphy barely in the picture! What's with that?
hey, i've got a better morphy snap on my facebook.
again with the lamb turds. a recurring theme in your deeply engaging, engrossing correspondence. No questions asked.
I have another pretend friend for you: Noah Par-King.
He's a stickler for rules, never allowing you to linger more than your credentials say. If you wanna stay, you got to pay.
"Taiiii-horrr?"
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